Seven things my husband is wrong about
Firstly, I am NOT ALLERGIC TO CUPCAKES. This would be an injustice of mammoth proportions, if it were true, which IT’S NOT. My little allergy to preservatives has intensified lately and just because I was itchy last night, don’t believe for a minute that those cupcakes would betray my love.
Secondly, when I trip while walking it appears that it is a result of my clumsiness, but NO, I swear, it’s either my silly girl shoes or the floor has some grippy surface tension going on. I am not graceless. Stop laughing. Seriously.
Thirdly, eating all the yummy jelly bellies and leaving just black and brown and popcorn flavored ones is poor form. I will eat the popcorn ones because it is a strange thrill, but I’m not sure that I enjoy them. I have to move pretty fast if I’m going to get some of the strawberry margarita ones.
Fourtherly, I may squint at my computer, complain that I can’t read street signs and read fine print old-lady style, but this does NOT mean I need glasses. I have them, after all, I just don’t happen to know where they are right now. Maybe if I feel around for them, I’ll find them.
Fiverly, it does NOT take me 30 minutes to leave the house. It’s true I may look like I’m heading for the door, but invariably I’ve forgotten something. Door locked? Lights off? When I say “I’m ready to go” this means, I’m ready to go through my invisible checklist of to-do’s. But you are wise to stay seated until you see me open the door...
Sixish, taking my top off will NOT help your soccer team win or solve the middle east conflict.
Sevenly, you’ve totally underestimated how crazy I am about you. You’re the bestest and I love you!
Secondly, when I trip while walking it appears that it is a result of my clumsiness, but NO, I swear, it’s either my silly girl shoes or the floor has some grippy surface tension going on. I am not graceless. Stop laughing. Seriously.
Thirdly, eating all the yummy jelly bellies and leaving just black and brown and popcorn flavored ones is poor form. I will eat the popcorn ones because it is a strange thrill, but I’m not sure that I enjoy them. I have to move pretty fast if I’m going to get some of the strawberry margarita ones.
Fourtherly, I may squint at my computer, complain that I can’t read street signs and read fine print old-lady style, but this does NOT mean I need glasses. I have them, after all, I just don’t happen to know where they are right now. Maybe if I feel around for them, I’ll find them.
Fiverly, it does NOT take me 30 minutes to leave the house. It’s true I may look like I’m heading for the door, but invariably I’ve forgotten something. Door locked? Lights off? When I say “I’m ready to go” this means, I’m ready to go through my invisible checklist of to-do’s. But you are wise to stay seated until you see me open the door...
Sixish, taking my top off will NOT help your soccer team win or solve the middle east conflict.
Sevenly, you’ve totally underestimated how crazy I am about you. You’re the bestest and I love you!
Cute post! (Comment this)