zoomaru

This is EXACTLY what it feels like to be a tree falling in the woods. I have the anonymity that Viggo Mortenson would eat up with a spoon. Hey, i have something even Johnny Depp could envy. I shall GLOAT in their general direction as I'm sure that I would not be allowed within 12 feet of them, if i actually knew where they were at this exact moment, if they even knew who i was. But i shall spend the day gloating. gloat gloat gloat.

I don't have to worry about all of those problems with which celebrities must deal. (although i'm sure they don't worry about dangling participles like i just did with in of) No one to take my picture as i'm schlepping through the grocery store in my curlers and slippers. Picking which nanny to watch my child today and what their coordinating outfits should be. Which china set to throw out today because it no longer suits me. No lessons in how to walk in Manolo Blahniks, because suredly, you gotta learn how to walk in those, right? I'd be ass over teacups in a second.

ah yes. Envy ME, biatch!

Man, I've been one slack-ass-blogger. I've got all the usual excuses. Go ahead, shoot big holes through'em. I deserve it. My first reason for not posting? Blogs. Other peoples' fabulous blogs. I'm so busy reading Dooce and Go Fug Yourself feeling totally inadequate that I just can't muster up the will to live, blog-wise.

Other excuses? "wah wah wah, i'm a parent to a young child, wah." well, that's what it USED to sound like when parents complained before I became a baby-wrangler myself. While I love this being beyond all reason, i only get about an hour a day to just goof off, unless, of course, I'm at work. I'm actually pretty ambitious, hardworking blah blah blah. but I never thought that work would start to feel like time-off. freaky. And why the hell wasn't I busy knitting, crocheting, crafting, gardening, sleeping when I was still childless? I had endless free time it seems in hindsight.

I'm also unfortunately and absolutely addicted to celebrity gossip. What the hell is wrong with me? I don't wear a hair net or live in a trailer but I absolutely ADORE reading about the latest Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan debacle. I love the cattiness of it all, i revel and would roll around in it if i could. ahh, feel the bitterness, the high-schoolness. slurp slurp slurp. but it does take a lot of time to find all this crap. It's more commitment than just picking up a People magazine and calling it a day. there are multiple sites to click through and they always link to OTHER gossip sites. My god. My pulse quickens at the thought.

I hate to say it, but...maybe i need a to do list for my goofing off time. 1) write in blog. 2) put down US magazine 3) turn off vapid television. Is it oxmoronic to have structured free-time?