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About mid-morning at work, I stuck my hand in the pocket of my khakis and what I found there made me smile. This morning Ruby slipped two plastic rings into my pocket and now I’m wearing one. It’s big and yellow with a big green flower painted on it. Every time I notice it I smile a little.

She is a sweet little person. And so open right now to people. I watched her shake a little girl’s hand at the Chic-fil-a the other day and say “nice to meet you”. And once she decides she likes you, you’re likely to get a hug from her. She is very chatty but we probably still understand her more reliably than others do. She says “fweet” instead of sweet, well, actually “fw” starts a lot of her words! She has a charming way of saying “I was just jokin’ you...”. And she remembers so many of the things that I’ve told her and thrown them right back at me. “You’ve GOT to be careful, mama”.

I’m looking forward to a long weekend with the girl. Work has been so busy, and we’ve had so much going on in our personal lives that it’ll be nice to slow down and listen to all her stories and play some games.

So have I mentioned that I'm a graphic designer? As 99.9 % of the readers here are friends or family you've known this all along, but you probably don't see examples of my work often. I thought I'd show you some logos I worked on that turned out nicely. Unfortunately, not all of these ever made it to the client, and the one they ended up choosing got changed a bit.

Client: Turkish Star, a retailer of imported, hand-knotted Turkish rugs and handcrafts.
Project: Logo to be applied to letterhead, signage, hang tags, gift bags.
Colors: 3 pantone colors

The first round of logos that I showed boss-man:

Lovely, no? You wouldn't believe how hard it was to make the fingers look woven! The end product after input from my boss and his client:

SOooo, now it's friday, I don't have to think about logos or websites or registration marks!
Party on, Garth!

Oh, here's another pattern I uploaded to Naked and Angry

The internet is such a cool place to be. I spend entirely too much time flitting about from site to site. A recent obsession is Naked And Angry, a site where you vote on submitted pattern designs and periodically the site will pick designs and produce items like wall paper or neck ties with the selected designs. It's fun to click through and see what people have been designing but yesterday I decided to take a quick wack at a design. It's a pain in the butt keeping track of what elements are on the edges and need to repeat!

Go to here or here and rate my designs. Maybe if my designs get a high enough score I'll make $500 and they'll print it on something!

I have the urge to awaken my inner Samuel L Jackson and spout out “punk ass bitch”. I practiced on the way into work. You gotta kinda spit out the P and the B. Remember, however, that a little spittle goes a long way. Punk ass bitch. Very satisfying. It’s really versatile, you can say kinda quiet, slow and deliberate with only your mouth or you can take it up a few notches, bringing your eyes into the whole sinister snarl of punk ass bitch where the words are pushed out but still in a hushed threatening way. Or go all ca-RAZY and wild-eyed and maybe just a little twitchy too. PUNK ASS.... BITCH!!!!!

I don’t, for the life of me, know why this phrase is so tempting to spout out. It makes me sound like a very angry little person. Who you callin’ a punk ass bitch, bitch? It’s like I’m a little possessed by a mad black lady. Well, not actually a lady if I’m using this kind of inappropriate language. Oooh! Maybe I’m possessed by Pam Grier! That would be awesome. I’d like some of those kick-ass boots, please. It totally loses it’s cajones when you giggle. Okay okay. I’m mean. Yup. Mean as a snake. Errrrrrr. Punk ass. Bitch!

Wha? Hunh? Oh. Did I say that outloud? Sorry. Huhn? Well, yeah, I got work I should do... Oh. Okay. Um.

(later you punk ass bitches!)

UPDATED to add the kick ass picture at right! thanks Monica! Amazing how you JUST happen to have a pam grier image handy!

 

oohh baby baby! We had a great weekend that included the swimming pool, playgrounds, pancakes, beer and music. But the coolest thing was we finally bought a new digital camera! wheeeeeeee! It's the Nikon D50 so we can change lenses and generally just goof with exposures and apetures and other things like that that we don't remember how to do. We've relied on our little digital point and shoot for so long and it's measly 2.1 megapixels. TWO POINT ONE!!! That's nothin'. This new beast has SIX!!! wheeee!!! What's even better about having a new camera is that I don't have to wait to see how badly my picture turned out! Instant gratification is a wonderful thing, although I will say that while many of the pics look really great small on the back of the camera display, blown up on the computer, not so much. wow. that is some kinda blurry! We'll work on it.

One of the other things we'll have to work on is figuring out all the auto settings on the top.

The above were all taken during the same 5 minute window, all I did was change the little setting wheel on top. hunh. well. I wonder what THAT button does.....

More "artsy" photos to follow!

On January 1 this year we woke up to find out that a family of 4, including a 4 year old and 9 year old girl were found bound and murdered in their home here in Richmond. The men suspected of this horrendous crime were arrested a week later, but I was preoccupied by it for more than a month. Unlike most investigations, very little was leaked to the press, so slowly without the oxygen of information, the murders faded from the forefront of my consciousness.

I had many personal reasons for being a little obsessed, they lived only 3 miles from our home, OUR HOME! one of their daughters was named Ruby, just like ours, and I had spoken to the mom about that in the cool toy store that she owned. We visited that store regularly and loved it's off-beat charm. I always pause by their shrine when we visit the store to this day. And I listened to the husband's band, House of Freaks, back in college.

One of the suspected men was tried this week. I went to art school, and know little of the legal trade, so I don't understand that despite confessing to the crimes, he pleaded not-guilty. The trial lasted two days. Have you EVER heard of a murder trial lasting only two days? The jury deliberated only 30 minutes before declaring him guilty. I didn't mean to, but I read a description of the wounds inflicted on the family, and despite their clinical nature and lack of drama, it upset me a lot. I will only say here that it involved duct tape, a hammer and a knife.

Like many people I use the word "hate" loosely. I hate this food, I hate that TV Show. But when I say I hate this man, I hate with a rage that is unfamiliar to me. I hate that he reminded me how complacent we are. How transient our existense is, how some asshole can walk into your house, hold you hostage and butcher you just for the pleasure of taking two laptops, a wedding band and some cookies. I really am trying to reduce the severity of my cursing so it's very hard not to use the phrase "evil motherfucker" when I think of him killing two young girls. Young enough to not even realize what evil really means. They probably thought Cruella Deville was evil incarnate. I hate that there are people who don't look at children and realize their vulnerability or even care if they live or die.

I'd heard, of course, of the protective instincts you acquire when you have a kid, but I didn't expect the sort of pain it could cause. The idea that someone could harm my child hurts acutely. I mean, it's just an achy feeling when I watch her sleep.

I wish I was evolved enough to acknowledge that this man is a damaged human being under the influence of PCP. If he'd been properly cared for as a child, he might not have done these things, but there's absolutely nothing that will prevent him from doing this again, in fact, that very week, he and his partner, killed another family of 3, that included his girlfriend. evil evil evil evil evil die die die die.

I know I'm being totally selfish when I say I can't wait for these trials to be over, I need something to wipe this from my brain. I need reassurance that my family and I are safe. I need to remember that this was a random act, and the odds of it happening to us is slim but I will check a second, third time that the back door is locked. I'll stare a little hard at men who look like the murderers and I'll keep reminding myself, that I can protect my daughter.

One tattered elephant
One small monkey
One mediuim-sized monkey
One baby doll
One puppy
One teddy bear

These are not the attendants of a Furry convention, (look that up, I'll wait) but rather the entourage that accompanies my 2 year old to bed each night. They must be properly tucked in on either side of her, and often I find her sleeping with her arms outstretched, like wings, encompassing these critters. Each morning, they must make the trek downstairs where, excepting for the favored elephant, they are totally ignored until it is time to go to bed again. I find it really hard, when half asleep, to maneuver ruby and this posse down the stairs. I have bed head and bad breath and 3 or 4 critters tucked under one arm while I hold one of ruby’s hands, not THAT one, the other, mama, as we make our way down to the living room. One morning I tried suggesting we get a bag for these buddies. That was a sad catastrophe that I still cannot speak of to this day. This morning, we chucked each one down the stairs one at a time as Ruby did a litany of “ouch ouch ouch” for each bump and tumble they took. Now THAT was kinda fun.

As previously mentioned, the elephant, Doh, is her favorite friend. When she was still teething, she’d chew on his ears until they were sopping wet, and frankly disgusting. When it was clear that, out of all the stuffed animals she had, THIS random elephant was her favorite, I searched online until I found a place I could buy multiples. We had four, but one has gone unaccounted for. I’m a little worried about this clone being either out in the world alone or stuffed, hidden in a remote nook of the house never to be found again. I think Ruby knows there is more than one, or at least that sometimes Doh is, I don't know... DIFFERENT. But she doesn't seem to mind.

Ruby, most often when she is feeling upset or sad, will say “Doh nice and clean” which means he needs to be taken into the other room where I pretend to clean him, and then brought back. This ritual began benignly enough, but now it is demanded IN A VERY LOUD SCREAMY voice at bed time when she doesn’t want to go to sleep or, in the middle of the night. If that demand doesn’t get a response, she may scream for another book in bed for a while. No response? Okay. MILK! Yeah, we’re working on that.

But for the most part this little tattered elephant is a haven for her, often when she gets back home at the end of the day, she says in her sweet lilting way “doh! It’s so nice to SEEEEee you!”. Ah young love.

How come I didn’t win the lottery this weekend? I didn’t buy just ONE ticket, I bought TWO, thus DOUBLING my chances! Twice as likely to get hit by lightening, right? Even if I had won, I think I would have come into the office on Monday. But you wouldn’t be the boss of me, oh no! Rich homies don’t roll like that. I woulda come into work, but instead of paying attention to what I needed to complete, I’d be scheming all my future goofing off! I didn’t buy tickets for the megasuperdupergazillionaire lottery. I bought the $1,000 a month for life tickets [edit: make that $1,000 a WEEK, thanks Natalie] . Since I am a math wunderkind, I can tell you that amounts to $52,000 a year! A decent living, if you ask me. You couldn’t live like MC Hammer did back in the day, but you wouldn’t have to work for THE MAN, either.

I think I’d start off just goofing around the house for a few weeks. Napping at sudden weird times of day. 11am? Time to nap. It would be like pretend narcolepsy. I’d go to coffee shops with my laptop, just cause. Maybe i’d get one of those Star Trek ear phone thingies so I’d look busy and important.

52K is not enough to go all McMansion or anything. It’s not even really enough to support a serious ebay habit. It’s enough that I’d be happy freelancing from home, or developing some products to sell or painting little funny creatures. It’s probably not enough to bring out all the cretinous long-lost “relatives” and hucksters trying to part you from your winnings. But it’s probably enough to support working only part-time!

Maybe next time I’ll buy one each of the lotteries so I can plot the ways in which they’d affect our lives differently. “oh that idea is SO Mega-millions worthy!” “That purse is Sooooo Shabby-win-only-a-little-lottery chic”

This week has been all wackadoo. Wackadoo? Hold on for a second there.
WACKAdoo
wackaDOO
wacKAdoo
wackadoo
wackadoo
Surprisingly enough spell check doesn’t recognize wackadoo and I hardly remember it myself, I mean I don’t think I’ve every used it before. WACKADOO!!!! It could be my new rallying cry. Normally I might use “cattywumpus” or “cafloogity” all serviceable but each has different connotations. All are tremendously fun to say out loud. Wackadoo.

So, as I was saying, this week has been all wackadoo. Ruby started her new “school”, a childcare center run by a local church, this week and she loves it. There has been none of the knee-clutching I might have expected, or the tears. But our routine has been upended. She has been sleeping until 7!!!! This change is, quite simply, marvelous. I haven’t gotten this much sleep in years, but it’s wreaking havoc on our departure. Also, she was making great progress on potty-training, and as typically expected, this change has halted that progress, much to my diaper-weary chagrin! And beyond these more obvious signs of upheaval, there’s just a sense of feeling out of place at the new school, I know this is short-term, but it still contributes to the unrest. Did I mention that I also lost a check for $250? Thought I dropped it off at the school? They can’t find it, I can’t find it. Crap.

I also feel I should explain the pee and drooling from the other day... Wednesday started out with a tantrum trying to get Ruby dressed, when she had calmed down a bit, I scooped her up onto my hip and noticed, damn she's damp, musta spilled her milk. Later after making it just in time to the dentist, I start thinking about how wet my shirt is, and isn't that strange I should sniff it. It was not milk. So I get my filling, which requires novacaine and then I speed home to change my shirt before throwing myself in to my chair at work. Yesterday morning involved a 45 minute tantrum, torrential rain, a jump-the-gun boss and a peculiar sense that I was drooling.

Not surprisingly, I’m SOOoooo glad it’s Friday. We’ll have friends over for fajitas tonight, we’ll stay in our PJs tomorrow until late morning and make blueberry pancakes and chill out.

Happy National S'mores Day! Had one for breakfast, what about you?