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You know what winter is? Winter is the waiting list at Outback Steakhouse to "Hi, my name is Spring and I'll be your server this evening, can i get you an Bloomin' Onion(TM)?" It's sitting butt-cheek to butt-cheek with your fellow fat man, wincing when Joe Bob and Amber's precious little boy, Tristan, tramples your toes, again. Wait. Wait. Uncomfortably wait. 

Bossman is on vacation. For a week. Did you know that he just had a week off over the holidays? And that he doesn't work Mondays? That's a bitchfest for another day. With him gone, though, work has been so painfully slow. SOOoooooOOOO slow. I've filed old jobs away, I've been backing up old documents, I've read every single blog that has ever been written. Twice. I've even found little design projects for myself, like designing a logo for a group to which I belong, made a "wheel o' life" (see previous post!) and then I found ReadyMech through Neatorama. ReadyMech has designed little paper toys that you download, print and then with your handy dandy X-acto knife you cut them out and tape them up!

Besides having to be a wizard on a computer, cutting skills have been an important part of my career! Aren't they cute? And so cleverly designed, they're little paper-engineering wonders! Now I've got to figure out which one I'm going to do next! Which one are YOU gonna do?

I’ve been in graphic design for (HOLY CRAP) 19 years. Nineteen. Long. Years. What I’ve enjoyed about it is the opportunity to be creative, to wear jeans to the office and to work with other funny, creative people. And I realize it’s the first step of the process, before the work is presented to the client, that is the most fun. Ah! A conundrum. The very people who pay the bills often make the job unenjoyable. I know that any job would be more enjoyable if there weren’t clients or bosses to please, but those are the ones that seem to pay the best.

Art or anything creative is a purely subjective matter. As a creative person, I love seeing things that surprise me. Wow! A bank uses orange as their main color? Now that’s original! Orange would certainly stand out from the masses of blue and green that most banks use. Bankers are an extreme example to use. I’ve found that any company that works with money is particularly freaked out about freaking out potential customers. Can you say “conservative”? I knew that you could.

When I chose my profession, I very clearly remember thinking to myself, that “I don’t think I can work with a bunch of suits every day.” And some days I’ve forgotten that. And then I do work for a financial organization and it becomes crystal clear again. I know there are some rogue bankers and investment dudes that wear boxers with skulls n’ crossbones on them, but for the most part these folks are very frightened of being seen as different from everyone else. Don’t make waves! Conform! BLUE!!! BLUE IS A GOOD COLOR!!! SEE MY TIE? IT’S BLUE!!!! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve designed conservative-looking pieces in maroons or golds or what have you and then been asked to make it blue. When asked what I did all day, I’ve joked for years that “oh, I made it blue today.” Blue is the ultimate safe color, sure to offend no one. It’s as though I put no thought whatsoever into my color choices when the opposite is always true. The client sells pumpkins, perhaps their logo should have orange in it, for example.

So, for all those folks who wished they had ended up in a more creative career, let this be a grass-is-greener warning for you! It’s actually been great, I’ve enjoyed it a lot, but fighting the same sorts of battles over and over gets tiring.

There are lots of ideas spinning about my head. And I’m just not the sort to go off half-cocked. Especially now with responsibilities for family and home. So, I’m going to have to be pretty firm in my head about what it is I want to do and how I’m going to do it. Some of my ideas have start up costs associated with them, and long term financial effects as well. It’s pretty hard to leave a career this far into it, especially the salary involved. I’m starting over if I jump career-ship. One possible way to go is to go part-time in my current job while training for or starting up next venture. Freelance is also an option although developing a client base might be tricky. I’m lucky enough that I can do this job easily from home. And there is a certain attractive quality to answering only to the client, rather than also to a boss with their own pain-in-the-ass ideas.

Ah, nothing like feeling like a 17 year old looking down the barrel of graduation!

I think the Shins might have been prog rock masters in their previous lives but they’ve managed to cleverly disguise these leanings with beautiful and curious swoons of vocals. I’m on my third listen on their new album “Wincing the Night Away” and it’s pretty difficult to pigeon hole them. I could start by saying what they are NOT; jazz, classical, pop. But that doesn’t really help much, does it? They probably end up filed in the indie-pop-rock slot in most libraries.

Their melodies are delightful surprises nestled into uncommon drum rhythms. I guess it’s those rhythms that give it the prog rock element. They eschew the normal verse/chorus/verse structure of regular pop music and their instrumentation is as likely to include hints of spacey keyboards as fuzzy guitar and calliope but they’re blended so carefully into the whole that they’re pretty organic to the song.

When you download the album from itunes you get a digital booklet which is a real boon for me since I have a hard time focusing on lyrics unless they’re in front of me in black and white. Their lyrics are quite poetic in a real poetry-way vs. I-took-a-creative-writing-course-in-high-school way. But it seems the SOUNDS of the word are more important than their meanings at times. My favorite song is “Sea Legs” which begins:

“Of all the churning, random hearts under the sun,
Eventually fading into night,
These two are opening now as we lie
I touch you, wonderful, alive

Girl, if you’re a seascape, I’m a listing boat,
For the thing carries every hope
I invest in a single life
The choice is yours to be loved,
Come away from it empty of... But us”

I start to understand what they mean and then it eludes me there at the end. But it's lovely lovely lovely!

Overall? I really dig this album a lot, I’ll be listening to it over and over and over.

This is the time of year that many folks consider how they might help others. Some choose philanthropic activities, others choose donating to a worthy cause. We here at Zoomaru headquarters have identified the perfect opportunity for those who would like to donate.

THAT my friends, is a TIKI AQUARIUM!!!! The Hayes Household is not complete without this aquarium. My LIFE is not complete without this aquarium. Please ignore the fact that it costs $429.00, (yes you read that right -- FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY-NINE DOLLARS) If it were $50 I'd buy that sucker in a skinny little minute. I blame Neatorama for finding these cool things that I can't possibly buy and they're also to blame for my reduced productivity at work. They publish 15 + entries a day and it's all the little random things that I'd send my friends if I found them first! 

So now I look forward to seeing the checks flying in! Thanks to all the good people out there. I promise to post pics when we get it! ;) 

I feel weird. Weird in a very non-specific sort of way. Was it the restless night of sleep? Is that a fever I feel? When I went to bed last night, I was shivery cold although it was no colder in our room than normal. I layered on the jammies, socks and extra blanket and just couldn’t warm up. Of course, several hypochondriacal hours later, I was burning up, sweaty, clammy and a little woozy as I stumbled down the stairs for a ibuprofen. You know that sort of pre-swoon light-headedness? When you’re afraid you might have to lie down on the floor in a sweaty lump to make sure you don’t pass out? I clamored back to bed, removing a few of my layers in an attempt to cool down. Are my joints aching? Do I have some sort of deadly virus or infection eating my insides? Should I start panicking yet?

How about now?

Child is not feeling quite herself either. Wants to stay home, head hurts, whines at a drop of a hat. Even were we to stay home, I’d be miserable, which in turn would result in her being miserable. Wheeee!

But it’s this undefined offness that is hard to pinpoint. I’m supposed to go to a meeting tonight. I’ve been blowing them off lately. I guess I could probably sit there and be a zombie much as I’m doing at work right now.

Eh. It’s later now, I’m still worthless. To hell with the meeting, I think I’ll go to bed at 7! This is totally either the flu or ebola. I'll keep you posted.

Happy freakin’ Monday! Yep, Monday. That bitterest of sweet days. On one hand, coming into work and sitting quietly in front of a monitor is kind of blissful after a rambunctious weekend with a 3 year old. On the other hand, I’m away from my rambunctious one and his daughter and forced to sit here like a veal in a pen. To make matters worse, my boss is always off on Mondays, so
Bitter = boss is off having fun somewhere, so I could be sitting here picking my nose and he’d be none the wiser.
Sweet= no boss!
Bitter= only enough sleet and snow to make cars crunchy and to make the locals freak out about running out of milk and toilet paper.
Sweet= we finally got winter weather, I can wear some sweaters!

I’ve also reflected on the inane little projects I found myself doing this weekend. Cleaned the faux, fizzy, fish tank that had been over run with algae. Cleaned the toothbrush holder. Matched up all the gloves that had gotten loose in the closet. What’s wrong with me? These are not the kind of jobs that show up on to-do lists! They’re a sign of madness, I’m sure, or at the very least, cabin fever. But they kept me happily occupied and every time I notice one of these little minor miracles, I’m satisfied.

I also posted a passel of new pics of the fam over at TwistedLittlePuppy.com

We’re all busy people, right? There’s work to be done, lives to be lived, blogs to write and/or read and often not enough time in which to do all that is required.

I’ve done painstaking research (and by painstaking, I mean, hey I read blogs a lot) and have developed a series of codes that will aid in the development and enjoyment of personal blogs. My research indicates that a great deal of writing on these sites constitutes a certain amount of whining on the part of the writer. Looking back over my own archives I see that I whine about the same damn things over and over, although I try to space them out by adding bits about cool art or jewelry, lest you think that all I do is whine. I’ve been struggling with a system that can be universally used and understood. Using just numbers would be obtuse and difficult to remember. We can make a global movement to use these codes and I daresay the internet itself will move faster just by reducing the extra data being posted!

Here’s my list, please add your own in the comments and I’ll start adding it to this main list.

• J-whine: any job related bitching
• Boss-whine: pretty clear
• baby-whine: “my kid is driving me NUTS!”
• sig-o-whine: any general complaints about one’s significant other
• Bummer-whine: for general malaise and bummerness
• fat-whine: I should perhaps use this in “real-time” dialog. I’m sure my hubby would appreciate the additional free time this would allow him.
• existential-whine: “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life, everything is so confusing blah blah blah”
• mom-guilt-whine: Other people are raising my child while I’m selfishly going off to work every day.
• design-o-whine: clients are stupid, graphic design is stupid, everything is stupid.
• money-whine: ie. Why can’t I win the lottery? Another hot topic of mine!

Actually reducing whining to a single code or phrase, helps diminish its importance. Perhaps this is also a good way to keep things in perspective. Earlier this week I was feeling pretty pissy. Next time, I’m gonna remind myself “Hey, dumbass, life is good! Lighten the hell UP!!! Sheesh! Enough with existential-whine, already!”

Being a graphic designer, I've always really dug cool advertising art, especially vintage advertising! The car industry seems to have always had a load of cash to spend when it came to tantalizing potential customers and day dreamers. Who DOESN'T have a dream car? A red Audi TT convertible would suit me just, fine thank you. Excepting for the insane price tag. I don't even know how much they cost, I'm THAT afraid to look it up. What if it is only "college education" expensive, versus "house" expensive? Kinda tantalizing! Whew, that link i provided only shows the prices in English Pounds! I can continue to be ignorant of my insanity!

So, understanding my love of cars and vintage advertising you can see why I might like a site like Plan59

These artists scan and clean up vintage brochures and ads from the fifties. I think originally intended for commercial use, they also sell prints! And reasonably! I see so many that I'd gladly put up on my walls, if they weren't already jam-packed with stuff. hmm. The guest room could accommodate these! I think a series of closeups like the above image would be hot hot hot! Too bad my birthday is so far away!

Valentine's isn't that far away and for all the lovely ladies out there, one piece of advice, start blogging or emailing about Sugar Daddy right now. Noone wants to end up with spark plugs or dime store jewelry! Am I right? I'm SOOOoooo very right!

I'd recently been checking out StyleDash, the writers there do all the hard work of trolling the internet to bring you lots of great items about style and fashion. They recently posted about this lovely piece of jewelry from Sugar Daddy. Ah! SUGAR DADDY! Lovely little hand-made necklaces like this make me all tingly!

Oh and the handbags are great too, especially for those of us who yearn for things just a little unusual. See this one?

*SIGH!!!!* so very dreamy! Girly flowers without being all... girly! And they're really reasonably priced too!

StyleDash also turned me onto these awesome kids shoe site, Vincent Shoes

It's a shame they cost $40, in adult shoes that's pretty cheap, there for a brief shining moment I totally forgot that Ruby grows out of shoes every 20 minutes. DANG! BUT THEY'RE SO COOL!!!!

Another writer that I read, Sweetney now writes for StyleDash, thanks for turning me onto to StyleDash AND Vincent Shoes!

I've always been envious of the cute little rain boots that Ruby wears to puddle stomp and I just stumbled onto some awesomely cool boots for ME!!! I'll need them since now it's raining and I totally blame Ruby for singing "it's raining it's pouring..." all the way to school!

So there you have the style & fashion report from Zoomaru Headquarters. Have a great stylish weekend!