zoomaru

She's got her momma's eyes.

i thought this was a skull, but richard swears it's a jack o' lantern that I found at the bakery.

The college boys who worked in the bakery, serving lattes and boxing up croissants apparently carved these when bored. mmm bread.

Wow, I'm busting out about a t-shirt a month. Now THAT'S productivity! That is if your definition of "productivity" is the same for "lame". Ah well. My dynasty is just moving a little slow.

For bunny fans, or fans of the banner graphic here at zoomaruland I present the following! I've only made these in kids' sizes but can certainly do adult sizes too. Visit my Etsy Shop!



buggaboo:


one more...

pinkie here is sewn differently. the little character is appliqued on top of the shirt and ric rac (RIC RAC!!!) is added.

(and yes, richard, I'm working on the monkey shirt you requested. seriously. I am.)

When raising a child, much like when being arrested, your words WILL be used against you. Sometimes immediately.
"I don't think being denied a balloon is going to ruin your Li..." "YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE" Nice to have this screamed as your walking through your neighborhood.

If you don't like the green blobs of tooth paste spackled against the white sink, buy white tooth paste!

If you have pets and/or children or are yourself a messy person, do not buy white furniture. In fact, pick upholstery that matches your pet. You should have seen the sofa I got to go with my calico cat.

Only give advice or opinions when they're sought after. Much like bags of free poop, very few people actually what 'em.

If it ain't broke don't fix it. This applies to most anything. Child happily playing by herself? Don't try to interject yourself into the game.

Be kind to everyone, you never know when you might need a little kindness yourself. And this beats the hell out of immediately feeling guilty when you've thought you were being rude to an assjack, and then it turns out you were wrong. man i hate that.

If you can't say something nice, Instant Message your husband with your venomous rantings, it might make them laugh, but would piss off your co-worker. In fact, if you're on ichat or AIM, look me up = pagalina. I'm online 9-5 m-f! drop me a line! Make me laugh!

If I were...

... Britney Spears, I'd tell my ex husband that i was moving 2 hours away into the hills where I'd start wearing jeans or khakis with a black t-shirt and sunglasses purchased at target. I'd travel to see my boys as often as I could and I would wear panties. I would return in 3 or 4 months looking clean and healthy and maybe I'd develop a deep and abiding love for yoga and reading cheesy vampire romance novels. I'd follow the rules of my legal counsel and management and have a turn-around story to rival Drew Barrymore's.

... ann coulter, I'd just shut the eff up.

...the food manufacturers, I'd figure ways to make people healthy rather than just milking their wallets and over-stimulating their bad impulses.  When I say my ice cream is light? You'll know that it's both lower in fat AND calories. I won't sneak in extra yummy sugar and corn syrup! promise! and I'll put real-world serving sizes on the nutrition labels. Everyone knows that an entire box of macaroni and cheese sometimes constitutes a single serving. It happens, so back off.

... George Bush, I'd drop concerns for my party's success in the next elections and speak honestly about the mistakes I'd made. Our people deserve it.

... lawyers I'd stop engineering laws and language that just succeed in improving my own billings. Pretty sneaky to review and require language on all corporate materials that only I can decipher or would ever consider questioning. I don't think I really have my clients' best interest in mind. But yo, obviously I'm wicked smart. Law school? nearly killed me. But I haven't lost my reason and compassion. I'll stop the insanity that requires 16 disclaimers and will expect the same out of others.

... diet aid manufacturer I'd admit that this shit doesn't work. See that asterix? *results not typical? That absolves me totally of any claims made in this ad (see above re: lawyers). If I were being totally honest, I'd say "I know you want to feel better about yourself, I know you're frustrated and feel like you don't have any control. You say to yourself, if only I were thinner, I'd be more attractive, I'd get a date or my husband would love me. And the real work involved is just to hard. If it'd make you feel better to send me $39.99 and feel like you're taking a step in the right direction, than do so, I'd happily cash your check and we'll both be happier."

... lindsay lohan except for the kid references, I'd follow Britney's example above.

... hateful gossip blogger I'd learn the difference between cutting remarks and being petty and nasty. I'd learn there's a way to mock someone's outfit without trashing their character. It would become clear that making fun of children is like fighting an unarmed man. They can't defend themselves and their lives and details are not in their control. I'd realize that you are indeed rubber and I am glue. And much like most of the above, I'd learn that lining my pockets is not as important as acquiring good moral fiber.

My new philosophy in life is to follow the words of Kenny Rogers and The Gambler. You gotta know when to hold’em, know when to fold’em, know when to walk away, know when to run. It’s a lesson I’m continually relearning.