Envy me, Jessica Simpson
This is EXACTLY what it feels like to be a tree falling in the woods. I have the anonymity that Viggo Mortenson would eat up with a spoon. Hey, i have something even Johnny Depp could envy. I shall GLOAT in their general direction as I'm sure that I would not be allowed within 12 feet of them, if i actually knew where they were at this exact moment, if they even knew who i was. But i shall spend the day gloating. gloat gloat gloat.
I don't have to worry about all of those problems with which celebrities must deal. (although i'm sure they don't worry about dangling participles like i just did with in of) No one to take my picture as i'm schlepping through the grocery store in my curlers and slippers. Picking which nanny to watch my child today and what their coordinating outfits should be. Which china set to throw out today because it no longer suits me. No lessons in how to walk in Manolo Blahniks, because suredly, you gotta learn how to walk in those, right? I'd be ass over teacups in a second.
ah yes. Envy ME, biatch!
