zoomaru

In my next life I’d like to come back as beautiful and vapid (okay, okay, vapid-ER). I’d like to casually disregard rules that apply to everyone else and smile beatifically when they’re pointed out to me. I’d like to see that the world is indeed my oyster when I toss my hair over my shoulder with my celly planted firmly to my delicate and delectable ear.

I shall walk meaningfully and with purpose towards the megalopolic coffee shoppe, disregarding that I have totally invented a parking space where there was none before. “I’m special!!!!” shall be on an endless loop in my beautiful and slightly small brain, it shall be accompanied by the tweeting of Snow White’s little blue birds and harpsichord.

Every pair of pants I try on will fit beautifully and shall match my entire wardrobe in an entirely wonderful and perfect way and shall flatter my perfect, pert figure in all the best ways! Should unpleasant things happen to me there shall always be someone there to fix it for me. I shall never have bedhead but rather tastefully tossed tresses. I would speak in alliterations all the time, if I knew what that meant. But I don’t need to know, someone else will take care of it.