mem-o-rees
I was three or four months pregnant and working a new job that was proving to be awful. Just plain awful. Lovely coworkers, all totally unhappy and one sorta insanely unpredictable boss. We were temporarily living in an apartment that was unfortunately within spitting distance of a train track. This is not an exaggeration, we were LITERALLY able to spit on the tracks. Well, I could've if I tried. And if I was, like, Wonder Woman or something. Or maybe the Bionic Woman, she could probably spit really far, right? Well anyway, it was so close that at night whilst tossing and turning, I could hear the squeaky wheels squeak their way down the squeaky tracks. It was a miserable time.
So I was stressed, and pregnant, away from my husband who was closing up our old house and not sleeping. So you can imagine that closing on two houses was a very stressful event. We’d gone to Arlington the previous day hoping that it would only take a couple of hours when it ended up taking the entire day to close. And now here we were signing over our lives for a new house, but what we didn’t know was that our profit from the old house had to be in the closing house’s account before we could buy the new one. “WHAAAAA??? M-f’ing piece of... goddam...” – not very motherlike language ensued. Our furniture was going to be delivered TOMORROW we had to close today. Please, please! Goddess-of-all-that-is-not-bad, please help us. We’re sitting in the closing office waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Finally! The money has indeed gone through, the day is saved, I retract all nasty things said and we sign our life away. sigh! We have a house!
If I wasn’t knocked up I would have certainly knocked back several alcoholic beverages to take the edge off, but I’m so relieved I can barely see straight. So Richard and I head out of the closing agent’s office to go check out our new place. As we step out of the door, Richard says “Crap. They towed the car.”
People. What kind of man pulls THAT kinda joke on his stressed out pregnant wife?
After I punched him in the arm a few times, I laughed pretty hard. What a way to start a new life with a man who always makes me laugh!
Scene:
Ruby, our two year old, is pretending to walk a dog, she has an improvised leash around her little stuffed monkey’s neck.
Me: Whatcha doin?
Ruby: Walking puppy.
Me: What’s his name?
Ruby: Monkey ( duh...)
So I was stressed, and pregnant, away from my husband who was closing up our old house and not sleeping. So you can imagine that closing on two houses was a very stressful event. We’d gone to Arlington the previous day hoping that it would only take a couple of hours when it ended up taking the entire day to close. And now here we were signing over our lives for a new house, but what we didn’t know was that our profit from the old house had to be in the closing house’s account before we could buy the new one. “WHAAAAA??? M-f’ing piece of... goddam...” – not very motherlike language ensued. Our furniture was going to be delivered TOMORROW we had to close today. Please, please! Goddess-of-all-that-is-not-bad, please help us. We’re sitting in the closing office waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Finally! The money has indeed gone through, the day is saved, I retract all nasty things said and we sign our life away. sigh! We have a house!
If I wasn’t knocked up I would have certainly knocked back several alcoholic beverages to take the edge off, but I’m so relieved I can barely see straight. So Richard and I head out of the closing agent’s office to go check out our new place. As we step out of the door, Richard says “Crap. They towed the car.”
People. What kind of man pulls THAT kinda joke on his stressed out pregnant wife?
After I punched him in the arm a few times, I laughed pretty hard. What a way to start a new life with a man who always makes me laugh!
Scene:
Ruby, our two year old, is pretending to walk a dog, she has an improvised leash around her little stuffed monkey’s neck.
Me: Whatcha doin?
Ruby: Walking puppy.
Me: What’s his name?
Ruby: Monkey ( duh...)
