Stupid lottery
How come I didn’t win the lottery this weekend? I didn’t buy just ONE ticket, I bought TWO, thus DOUBLING my chances! Twice as likely to get hit by lightening, right? Even if I had won, I think I would have come into the office on Monday. But you wouldn’t be the boss of me, oh no! Rich homies don’t roll like that. I woulda come into work, but instead of paying attention to what I needed to complete, I’d be scheming all my future goofing off! I didn’t buy tickets for the megasuperdupergazillionaire lottery. I bought the $1,000 a month for life tickets [edit: make that $1,000 a WEEK, thanks Natalie] . Since I am a math wunderkind, I can tell you that amounts to $52,000 a year! A decent living, if you ask me. You couldn’t live like MC Hammer did back in the day, but you wouldn’t have to work for THE MAN, either.
I think I’d start off just goofing around the house for a few weeks. Napping at sudden weird times of day. 11am? Time to nap. It would be like pretend narcolepsy. I’d go to coffee shops with my laptop, just cause. Maybe i’d get one of those Star Trek ear phone thingies so I’d look busy and important.
52K is not enough to go all McMansion or anything. It’s not even really enough to support a serious ebay habit. It’s enough that I’d be happy freelancing from home, or developing some products to sell or painting little funny creatures. It’s probably not enough to bring out all the cretinous long-lost “relatives” and hucksters trying to part you from your winnings. But it’s probably enough to support working only part-time!
Maybe next time I’ll buy one each of the lotteries so I can plot the ways in which they’d affect our lives differently. “oh that idea is SO Mega-millions worthy!” “That purse is Sooooo Shabby-win-only-a-little-lottery chic”
I think I’d start off just goofing around the house for a few weeks. Napping at sudden weird times of day. 11am? Time to nap. It would be like pretend narcolepsy. I’d go to coffee shops with my laptop, just cause. Maybe i’d get one of those Star Trek ear phone thingies so I’d look busy and important.
52K is not enough to go all McMansion or anything. It’s not even really enough to support a serious ebay habit. It’s enough that I’d be happy freelancing from home, or developing some products to sell or painting little funny creatures. It’s probably not enough to bring out all the cretinous long-lost “relatives” and hucksters trying to part you from your winnings. But it’s probably enough to support working only part-time!
Maybe next time I’ll buy one each of the lotteries so I can plot the ways in which they’d affect our lives differently. “oh that idea is SO Mega-millions worthy!” “That purse is Sooooo Shabby-win-only-a-little-lottery chic”
Obviously, I have made a flawed mathematical calculation that will result in my being poor for the rest of my math-challenged life. =/ *sigh* (Comment this)